Friday, February 11, 2011

Insights into Rejection

Insights into Rejection

One of the seemingly hardest things to take in life is rejection. Rejections can range from being a social slight such as when one says hello to a passing stranger on the street or greeting someone at a social function and not having that greeting returned, to severe rejection such as in dating or relationship situations.  In most instances it is our estimation of the rejection mixed with memories of hurt from our past that cause us the most discomfort.  Our estimation of rejection is something we can change.

In social situations, one of the biggest reasons for rejections is the difference in energies or intent.  When one person is in a positive mode, thinking positively of themselves, their lives, their environment and another is in a negative mode rejections will most likely occur. Think about this for a moment.

If you are in a social situation, excited to be there, thinking “Wow! This is great! I'm going to meet some new people and have a fantastic time!” and you approach another who is in a closed off or negative mode then the energies or intent won't connect or mesh. 

We have all had times where a buddy or friend calls and they are really upset. If you are in a great mood, happy and life is good, two things happen. Firstly, you get that lightening bolt in  your brain that says, “OH CRAP!” because you don't want to lose your positive energy and come down to that negativity level. 2nd and most importantly that lightening bolt should tell you, “Any rejection at this point is NOT me.” This doesn't mean that we shouldn't or don't listen to our friends when they're agonizing over something.  Being a good friend means we should do what we can or at least be a sounding board.

What I'm pointing out in this is how the intent and energies don't match and that there is a recognition of this. That recognition is the key in not letting rejections stress you out. Often times that is what happens in social rejections.  By becoming aware of this we can do two things.  1st and most obviously realize that it is not us - our personal/emotional being- that is being rejected.  2nd in choosing to respond appropriately as opposed to instinctively reacting, we might actually find a way of connecting with  people and turning that around for them.

Some pointers in dealing with rejection:

·       Learn to recognize the difference in energies
·       Learn to recognize some of the body language associated with a person in a negative mode
·       Recognize that two opposing energies will not mesh at that moment
·       Recognize that when that happens it is THEM not YOU!
·       Recognize that in responding appropriately instead of instinctively (from a reactionary feeling perspective ) we can actually help the other person and potentially lift their energy level.
·       Learn to recognize when negativity is bringing you to a place you don't want to be to gracefully bow out. 

There isn't a single person on this earth that doesn't impart negative energy at one point or another. Rejection is most times not about you, it is most times about the other person.  So don't take it personally!

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