When you meet a person with a high level of confidence, you know it. They take care of themselves and look and behave comfortably in any situation in which you see them. They are comfortable in their own skin. That is the key. To be comfortable in your own skin without the necessity of another persons praise to make you worthwhile to you.
The highest levels of self esteem are reached when one understands that it is not another persons estimation of you that determines your worth. It is your own estimation of you , what you think about yourself, that determines your worth. People carry self-esteem with them from their childhood. The interesting thing is, that you can be successful in business, or in your career of choice and still have a lower than normal self esteem. Sound odd? Or does this sound familiar?
Sometimes this stems from a parents opinion of people different than themselves, those snide remarks that all of us have made or recall from childhood. If all your life you heard things like “people with money don't work hard” or “people with money don't care about other people” “or those people look really happy, they must be faking it” you may still have that sense that you are not a good person because you are successful or because you are happy. Why? Because those words and phrases come floating back. Because of a parent or relatives or even a close friends self esteem. It's time to break the chain on that. The idea that if there is no struggle people aren't working hard enough is absolutely ridiculous.
People are people. There are great people who have money or great relationships or cruise the Caribbean 3 times a year and there are some people who are jerks. What has to happen is to take a look at those patterns of thinking, recognize that those base line modalities of thinking are worn out and tired old ways of thinking that don't bring happiness, joy or confidence to anyone's life. It's time to start thinking in a new way. How do we do that?
How do we reach that point of increasing our confidence and sense of self worth? How do we learn to think about ourselves differently? How do we shed the negative baggage that we were told to carry as children?
In order to change our thinking and our beliefs about ourselves we must start by making a conscious choice to think differently. Choosing to focus on the positive aspects of our life. Engage in a little positive self talk. Focus on what is right in our lives not the things that are wrong. Start focusing on the things about you that you love. Focus on things that are good, things that you are proud of. Many people have grown up in environments that taught them that happiness or pride in ones accomplishments is a bad thing. WHY????????
Brag a little! Be happy about the things in your life that are good! Isolate and contain any baggage that you have carried from your youth and GET NEW LUGGAGE! And...Every chance you get, raise your arm in the air, bend at the elbow, put your hand behind your back and give yourself a pat!