Negative Situations for Positive People

We all know there are people in our world that no matter how good life is they will see all negative.  They are sure everything is going to turn out for the worst and most cases it does.  Why is this?  The answer differs for everyone. Most of the time it has to do with deciding where you are going and getting there.  “If you believe you can't ,you're probably right.” as the old saying goes.

If we are focused on the positive, what do we do when that energy starts to affect us personally?  Walk away.  This is especially true for positive  people who have allowed their personal energy to be dragged down.  Walking away doesn't mean cutting someone off, being rude or saying “That's it!” or “Don't ever venture down that road again!”.  It means first and foremost give them a positive to focus on and then excusing yourself.  If it's an interpersonal relationship, it means giving that person, and more importantly ourselves, the time to regain  balance and composure so that we can look at things in a clear light.

Imbalance occurs when two people do not value each other to the same degree.  What one deems important the other may see as a waste of time.  This is akin to rejection.  As we've discussed before, rejection is, most of the time, not personal.  Rejection is simply a non alignment of energies, whether temporary or permanently. And so, one walks away.

The trick is walking away in a positive manner.  Sometimes no matter what you say or how you say it someone in a negative frame of mind will hear only one thing.  That is real. it is their perception, it is their feelings. But, “Feelings are not facts.”  You can talk about several aspects of one thing and the worst one is the one a negative person will focus on.  If it isn't fact then it is our obligation, not the other persons, to not add fuel to the fire.  Fighting a non truth only feeds the fuel for the other person.  We give it substance when we fight it. So we back out, gracefully.  In a sense bowing out gracefully is turning the other cheek.  Let others hear what they want to feel, they don't want your apology or to hear a clarification.  They want only confirmation of their own feelings.

What do we teach are kids?  If the other kids mean or icky we tell them to walk away.  Why  then do we stay? Why do we stick around when someone is negative? Most times self-esteem issues. Again old baggage. Lose it! We may rationalize to ourselves that we wade with them through the mire because they made us feel sorry for them or just because we don't want them to feel alone.  Staying in the mire with them does not get them out, it allows them to stay there. 

No one can make us feel anything that we don't already feel about ourselves. If someone says something positive or neutral and the first thing the other feels is a negative reaction it is because that is what they are already thinking or feeling about the situation. If you are staying it's because you want to stay in that mire with them. You can't set an example of positive energy by engaging their negativity.

There are so many wonderful things about us as human beings that we have to focus on.  Start there.   and follow those societal rules that before they were societal were spiritual it talks to the spirit in all of us.

A side note about negativity in conjunction with addictions:

There is not one of us that is perfect.  We all have those moments or days.  Some people have those days every day.  There are addictions, physiological as well as psychological, and clinical issues that  mercilessly haunt some people every day.  Clinical issues of depression or any ideology of harming ones self  need to be taken up with a psychologist or professional counsellor.  Those are issues that can quite literally be deadly. Though being positive may seem like an obvious way to go there are some people for whom deciding to be positive is not an option.